This is what I want to spend my unemployment on: Tyrone's Redemption

BBGF's avatar
BBGF

On Madaoski brosquito's wall, I told the AI-generated story of the guy in my profile picture, Tyrone Gillings. Though the basic elements of the story will not differ, I will now tell his story with my own three legs, since I wasn't entirely satisfied with Grok. Part 1 It had been three hours since Tyrone Gillings was released. With no real plans for the present or the future, he walked the streets of the foreign-looking town he had spent most of his life in. Things were different, everything looked out of place, something he had expected, yet couldn't quite comprehend. As the minutes passed, the slight, strange feeling of awe slowly faded. "The fuck's with you, huh?" Preoccupied with his thoughts, he carelessly bumped into a passerby. "I'm sorry, man. Honest mistake.", he said, trying to avoid any conflict. But the passerby, whose eyes looked to be almost teary from anger, had other ideas. With no hesitation, he charged at Tyrone with an amateurish swing and an exposed chin. Many thoughts went through Gilling's mind as the fist drew closer to his thick-boned face. Two forces were at play in Tyrone's mind. The first was the quick-tempered tough guy with a pride the size of a mountain. The second was the regret that had cultivated itself during his prison years. In a split-second, a decision was made. The man that had ruled these streets with violence in the past was now unwilling to raise his fist. And so, there he stood. Part 2 Tyrone's family hadn't given up on him even after everything that had happened, which he of course appreciated, but also fed his guilt even further. He stood in front of the door slightly nervous, took a deep breath, and knocked. The door opened slowly, and for the first time in over 10 years, the two finally met outside of prison. "It's been a while, mom.", he let out, barely holding back his tears. After the emotional moment, the two started planning out Tyrone's future. It wouldn't be easy getting a job, especially for an ex-convict. That was the presumption he had made, but only after two weeks, he was hired as a part-time boxing instructor. Despite his scary looks and bald head, he was able to connect with his co-workers fairly quickly. The kids started to get used to him as well. A year passed, and things were looking bright. The townsfolk had stopped giving him cold looks, and although not many had really warmed up to him yet, they acknowledged his existence. Tyrone had earned his pay, and was offered a full-time job, which he took without hesitation. With a little financial support from his parents, he was able to rent himself a four-room apartment, and that's all he needed. Part 3 It was night-time, when Tyrone woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. "What is it-", he began, but was quickly interrupted. "Tyrone, it's your father! Th-the house is...!! Just come here, quickly!" It was his mother calling, and something had happened. "Fuck!", he yelled as he ran to his parents' house. When he got there, the problem was clear; the house was on fire. "Son!", his mother yelled out to him on the street. "Where's father?! Have you called the fire department!?" "I-I did, just now! But your father...! H-he's still inside, I-I..! No further explanation was needed, Tyrone was already running inside with full speed. The house had three floors, and the bedroom was on the third. If he had collapsed, it would have to be on the third or second floor, he thought. He ran up to the second floor, in which the air was already full of smoke. He would have to be fast. He quickly checked each room, trying to inhale as little smoke as possible. His father, however, was nowhere to be found. "Third floor, goddamnit!" He ran up again, slipping once in the process, and hitting his knee on one the stairs. But he had no time to be limping. "Father!", Tyrone yelled as he saw him lying on the floor, unconcious. He carefully picked him up with his muscular arms, trying his absolute best to support his father's frail neck. "You can't die on me, old man. Hang in there..." Tyrone's vision started to get cloudy, and his lungs were starting to burn. He took the warning sings, and started making his way back down. Sirens could be heard outside. With each step, time slowed down. "Is this my atonement?", he wondered. "The daughter of that man, I wonder how she's doing..." Outside of the house, in the yard, Tyrone's mother could see the silhouette of a 6'5 man getting closer to the entrance. With wheezing lungs and a crouched back, Tyrone emerged from the smoke, carrying his father in his arms. He laid him down on the ground and checked his pulse. He was alive. Both the father and son were taken to the hospital, and both lived to see the light of day. When Tyrone was finally discharged, he got home and saw a letter in the mail. The sender of the letter was unknown, but after reading it, he knew exactly who it was. Tears streamed out of his eyes. With small letters it read: "I forgive you."

Comments

monkeyDlewphie's avatar
monkeyDlewphie

Keeping that in mind, Tyrone still chose to take the blow out of his own volition, perpetuating the cycle of the strong feeding on the weak again--- a cycle he has likely seen numerous accounts of in his many years of being a hoodlum. Is Tyrone so ridden with guilt that he would rather go through such pain as a means of penance, is it an example of the complexity of Tyrone's character, or could this be POOR and CHEAP writing? If so, I would like to see what occurred in the penitentiary to warp such an individual's worldview so substantially. This could very well be a diamond in the rough, Mr. Madao. I will be expecting from you soon.

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    monkeyDlewphie's avatar
    monkeyDlewphie

    LET ME PICK THE NITS. Why did Tyrone not just dodge the blow, despite assessing it to be amateurish, and dip? Not only would he have displayed a difference in combat skill, letting the aggressor know that he isn't to be made light of, but he would have kept his oath of being a pacifist. You may say that that particular line was only an objective non-diegetic narration, but it was still shown that Tyrone had the composure and calm to think carefully through a dilemma while he was being attacked, implying skill and experience, thus proving his capability to determine the amateurishness of the punch. Tyrone is shown to be someone who has served 10 years in prison, and prior to that, likely born and raised in a ghetto, crime-ridden environment. Both environments share a crucial attribute: that the demonstration of weakness is bound to drop you down to the bottom of the food chain. Passiveness is the receiving end of dominance.

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      MADAO's avatar
      MADAO

      Shit, this was fire Like seriously Nice

      Reply
      1 Reply
        Chud_maxing_nigger's avatar
        Chud_maxing_nigger

        You are an honory aryan now

        Reply
        1 Reply
          Summer_Sky's avatar
          Summer_Sky

          Ass

          Reply
          5 Replies
            LUCA's avatar
            LUCA

            too sleepy to read this shi. will do after i wake up

            Reply
            1 Reply
              opan's avatar
              opan

              this is actually peak

              Reply
              2 Replies
                Hellhound's avatar
                Hellhound

                Hellhound was here.

                Reply
                  BBGF's avatar
                  BBGF

                  It's 5.26 am, good night. I am so cooked 😩😩

                  Reply

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