>Minneapolis Greentext

MildMannered's avatar
MildMannered

Anonymous >Be me, 28 y/o ICE agent >Doing the Lord's work in suburban hell, freezing my ass off. >Knock on my first door of the day. Here we go boys. >Door opens >Severely obese white woman spawns up. Pink hair. Septum ring. >Fuck >"Uh, hello ma'am, we're here to process a visa that expired." >"You what?" >"We're here toβ€”" >"Oh god, its happening. Its literally fascism. Youre like, fascists! >Fuck fuck fuck >Try to explain it's just paperwork and processing >She whips out her new iPhone, starts filming vertically like it's evidence for the Hague >Foid goes apeshit >"MY CLEANING LADY IS FROM GUATEMALA AND SHE MAKES THE BEST AREPAS!" >partner next to me whispers "dude just hand her the notice and bounce" >she's now live on Instagram caption: "ICE NAZIS AT MY DOOR!!! #Resist #AbolishICE #MyTearsAreForTheBorder" >"Ok, ma'am, we're just going toβ€”" >"THE CHILDREN! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" > no children visible, place smells like lavender diffuser and privilege >"Arrest me instead! Take me to the camps! I'll go viral!" >Suddenly her life partner shows up wearing an "I Voted" sticker from 2016 and holding a baseball bat >"YOURE NOT TAKING US ALIVE" >Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck >partner radios for backup, code for "here we go again" >Foid swings like shes back in little league before she transitioned >Neighbors come out in their bath robes and shit, immediately start filming and screaming >FASCISTS GO HOME >Dont mind if we do >Book it for the Tahoe >Fat foid trips chasing after us, starts screaming >POLICE BRUTALITY! >Partner trying not to laugh, biting his lip so hard it's bleeding >mfw I miss when people just signed their forms and showed up to court dates >feelsbadman.jpg

Comments

pimpcess's avatar
pimpcess

you sir have won the internet! πŸ˜‚πŸ†

Reply
    Jokerpersona's avatar
    Jokerpersona

    "Foid" 😭πŸ₯€ Why are more people using the word foid it does not help the case that theyre incels and are permanently on the 4chan and reddit Even if its satire it sounds stupid asf

    Reply
    1 Reply
      papaya_cyborgsolsta's avatar
      papaya_cyborgsolsta

      I haven’t used social media in a while, I lowkey don’t know what you’re referencing.

      Reply
      1 Reply
        SAICHARAN's avatar
        SAICHARAN

        Unemployed. I ain't reading all of that YK

        Reply
        1 Reply
          monkeyDlewphie's avatar
          monkeyDlewphie

          10/10 😭 πŸ‘

          Reply
            KnightOfTheFirmament's avatar
            KnightOfTheFirmament

            honestly i can't tell if you are on some sort of 9th level satire or just a massive faggot

            Reply
            8 Replies
              MrBeastsCousin's avatar
              MrBeastsCousin

              Mfw I get shot to death after assaulting someome with a gun

              Reply
              2 Replies
                bonk's avatar
                bonk

                cinema 😭😭

                Reply

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