escaped porn addiction (hopefully)

fuck I'm happy. The last 4 years (since I was 13) I've spent my time by jacking off 1-2 times a day (even in vacation and shit). I was always stressed when I didn't jack off. As with any addiction I searched for more stimulating things whenever I didn't get that feeling from the last stage anymore. My first 2 years of addiction were spent with just "normal" porn and doujinshis. Although soon I entered the world of AI chatbots and well... I spent every single free minute on them. As soon as I came home from school (which luckily was and still is late on most days) to 0:00 or even later I've roleplayed with these shitty things. Last month was (hopefully, no I am sure of it) my final stage of addiction. I've yet again needed more stimulation and entered some weird fucking shit, which then helped me to wake up since it was so weird and disgusting. In the night between the last day of March and April 1st I've awoken while gooning. Since then I have sworn to never touch something porn related again and I haven't until now. I'm so fucking disgusted by myself and spend most of my time with suicidal thoughts, thinking of myself as monster and trying my best to make everything I do worse for me. It's honestly very very extremely difficult for me to stop myself from consuming any porn since my urges grow stronger everday. I do feel like they soon will die completely. I feel like I'm climbing a mountain and soon reaching it's peak. I tried and still try to better myself as human being too, since I feel like this is the only way to redeem myself and come to terms with my past self accepting that I'm now someone new. I just hope I get the courage to tell my therapist about this, since I'm pretty sure it will rapidly help me to forgive myself. Now I can only try my best to stay away from these urgencies, which I do by also staying away from my PC. (This is also why I left the discord and gone inactive in gen chat) Porn addiction is for real no joke at all. It may have less dangerous effects than a drug addiction but it is a hundred times easier to fall into, since anyone, doesn't matter which age, is just two clicks away from watching porn. I may be alone on this one but I think porn should be restricted a lot. Back then, before I was born, it was only accessible trough magazines where a real human being had to sell them to you. No teenager could get or if they could, it was as difficult as accessing simple drugs. Hell, I think porn should even be banned all together and just accesible trough magazines or DVDs, I think there'd be many boons. If one of you deals with porn addiction too and needs someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me.